


underneath the shattered sky

by bisexual-jace (mychemicalclifford)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alley Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bottom Jace, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Jalec Gift Exchange, M/M, Parabatai Feels, Post-War, Smut, Top Alec, jalec - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 15:31:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11970297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mychemicalclifford/pseuds/bisexual-jace
Summary: What rule wouldn't he break for the man in his arms?They're already breaking the Law as it is and after everything they have endured—everything they have sacrificed in their lives for the Clave, he and Jace have earned one night for themselves. One night where Alec refuses to let the consequences of their dangerous, ill-fated actions keep him from what he wants.-Written for the Jalec Gift Exchange, for Arella.





	underneath the shattered sky

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! This is written for Arella, @diamond-feels on tumblr. My take on Established Relationship for Jalec and I really hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> This was also a perfect excuse to see more of Jace being pinned to a wall ;-) 
> 
> Enjoy!!

Luke Garroway’s hand is on his back, the other raising a beer as he proposes a celebratory toast to the crowded Hunter’s Moon. Alec is vaguely aware of Isabelle on his other side, her head thrown back in laughter at something Simon is chattering on about.

It’s a lively victory party—one the Downworld is sure to be talking about for generations to come. The end of the Mortal War.

There are Shadowhunters, werewolves, vampires and even a few warlocks in attendance, all intermingling as seamlessly in their shared joy as if they are all one species. They are survivors and war heroes alike, united at least for one night in commemorating the fall of the terrorizing madman Valentine Morgenstern.

Alec couldn’t care less about any of it.

The cheers and toasts all fall on deaf ears, nothing but the roaring of white noise. His focus is pinned across the bar on Jace. Alec hasn’t let him out of his sight since he found him beside Lake Lyn, miraculously alive. Alec can’t shake the sharp _fear_ pressing in behind his sternum that Jace is going to disappear at any moment.

His parabatai is leaning back against the counter now, seemingly carefree as he chats with Clary beside him. His grin is fixed perfectly in place. He laughs at the right moments and accepts the congratulatory pats on the back from the people around him with a grateful nod. He’s Jace Herondale, the war hero. After all, what could he have to worry about?

But Alec _knows_ him. He can see through the act Jace is cloaking himself in like a shield. Alec can spot the voiceless sorrow that lingers in Jace’s mismatched eyes, dimming the light that typically shines through him. His forced smile is brittle, chipping away at the edges every second Jace clings onto it—a joy he doesn’t feel, doesn’t match to the atmosphere they’re in.

Alec feels it as well. The bond lays open between them, the _grief_ and unease being passed from both ends. In those moments Alec hates every single person in that room. He resents them, the celebration, the _witnesses_ that are keeping him from charging across the bar and taking his parabatai into his arms. The irrational part of his mind entertains a brief fantasy of shoving Jace back against the counter, biting his soft, plush mouth until it's raw and red—a clear mark left behind that Jace is his, in front of everyone they know.

Alec silences those thoughts. He feels himself tittering on the edge of self-control, the blood pounding in his veins, about to burst out his skin. Jace is putting on a much better front than he can. The act is exhausting for Alec to watch. Jace is holding himself together by an increment, but he is trying nonetheless to make conversation with Clary—the person who stabbed the only father Jace has ever truly known to _death_.

His parabatai is in mourning, even if he refuses to acknowledge it.

Alec shakes his head. _You don’t have to do that, you know._

Jace’s head twitches, stopping himself just in time before he looks directly at Alec. It took them almost a month to learn resistance to the impulse when one of them spoke through the bond. Their voices come through as clearly as if Alec had muttered the words in Jace’s ear.

The only answer Alec receives is a minuscule frown that flashes over Jace’s mouth before he’s smiling widely at Clary again. Stubborn as always.

Alec takes a sip of his lukewarm beer. He has no interest in getting as inebriated as his allies and colleagues around him. A part of him sympathizes with Luke as the pack leader makes his rounds, laughing too loudly and playfully demanding hugs from everyone in his path. He is drunk, but Alec knows for a fact there is not enough alcohol in the world to numb the loss he is feeling from Valentine’s death.

His parabatai is dead. Their Mark is faded and their bond shattered a long time ago, but Luke must still feel it. Even if it’s only a phantom of the love he once experienced for Valentine, even the memory of such a profound and intimate bond being split open is enough to bring a man to his _knees_.

Alec feels his breathing growing shallow, rattling in his lungs. The memory of it is nearly as powerful as when it happened. _Jace is alive, Jace is alive_ , he chants to himself, seeing the evidence right before his eyes. Without realizing it, Alec’s hand is cupping his side.

Their parabatai rune is warm to the touch. Alec presses his fingers against it, trying like hell to forget what it felt like when it faded to _nothing_. When his nails scratched and clawed at the skin on his hip, drawing blood in his desperate attempt to make the Mark— _the_ most sacred rune on his body—reappear. It was as if his ravaged mind believed he could dig deep enough to bring it back.

Alec’s eyes lock with Jace’s when his parabatai snaps his head to look at him. The agony is there just under the surface of his own superficial composure. He sees it reflected in Jace’s concerned expression, his carefree pretense stripped away at the sign of Alec’s distress. The bond is pulsing with pain between them.

Alec uses a Herculean strength to push back the memories that are surging up, threatening to drown him in that black, hopeless abyss. He can hear the echo of his own tormented screaming in his ears. The pain, the _despair_ that gripped his soul when he realized Jace was dead…it’s too much. He can’t breathe.

“Alec,” Isabelle says in alarm, clutching his arm worriedly. “What’s wrong?”

His eyes are still holding Jace’s. In that moment no one else exists. It’s just them staring at each other across a chasm. His heartbeat thunders in his chest, pounding in harmonious rhythm to Jace’s pulse. They are one soul occupying two bodies. His pain _is_ Jace’s pain.

_Need you. **Now**._

It’s not enough to just see him there. Alec has to touch him, feel his warm skin under his fingertips and Jace’s breath in the air between them.

Alec turns, cutting a line straight to the back exit of the bar. He can feel his parabatai’s prescence shadowing him without question. It’s just enough to relieve some of the revived panic in his system to know Jace is there behind him, recognizing his footsteps as they trace his own across the floor.

The invisible tether that has been stretched out in between their bodies is winding closer until Alec opens the door. Then it's just the two of them spilling out into the back alley, finally alone.

The second the door of the Hunter's Moon is firmly shut behind them, Alec pounces. An _attack_ is the only proper word for it as Alec takes Jace's smaller shoulders in his tight grip and slams him up against the closest brick wall. Jace's startled breath gasps between them before Alec dives down, finally taking Jace's lips hungrily between his teeth. Jace's back arches off the wall, a half-pained moan escaping him as Alec's nips on his bottom lip transcend into harsh, frenzied kissing. Alec keeps him pinned in place with his hips, his hands locking around Jace's wrists to hold them trapped to the wall.

Jace kisses him back with equal, needy passion. He must understand, even if he wasn't the one left behind for the longest, darkest minutes of his life. Alec dips his tongue into his open mouth, his fingers squeezing Jace's wrists as the familiar, electric shiver wracks through his body down to his toes. It's the same every time they kiss, since the first time—a world burning down around them, flames licking across their skin, where there is no air or sanity or life to exist outside of _this_. Only him.

Every time it is a revelation. Like striking gold, realizing that his body can feel this wonderfully, deliriously, _good_. Knowing what it's like for his heart to feel full. As a groan bursts from the back of Alec's throat, kissing Jace in laid bare desperation, he recalls why it's forbidden. Because Alec would give up everything—Shadowhunting, food, oxygen, his _life_ —just to stay here, kissing his parabatai. With him, Alec’s world is heat and pleasure and deep, overwhelming joy. The panic is settled inside him, because he has Jace and nothing else matters.

Then it's gone. Jace breaks away, leaning his head back to catch his breath. "Alec."

He can feel his gaze darken, arousal pooling hot in the pit of his stomach at the sight of Jace's swollen, wet mouth. Alec is already leaning down, chasing his lips again when Jace repeats his name, louder now.

" _Alec_." Jace gives him a pointed look, oblivious to his pink cheeks and sexy, raspy tone as he tugs on Alec's hold around his wrists. Reluctantly, Alec releases him.

Jace winces, mostly for show as he rubs at his reddened wrists. Alec has given him much worst injuries, a good amount during sex. "What's gotten into you?" Jace demands, looking up at him in concern. "You've gone all caveman on me."

Alec grunts in response, smirking when Jace lets out a snort of laughter.

"Are you opposed to it now?" Alec asks, raising a brow at him.

"Not at all." His amusement doesn't hold up, unsurprisingly, and Jace frowns at him again. "But there is something wrong."

"You _died_ , Jace," Alec retorts. He meant it to sound sharp and exasperated, because it should be obvious what has him rattled to the core. Instead, however, the words come out pained, like there are wretched out by a fist in his gut. "That's what's wrong!"

By the Angel, they're both a mess. Both of them barely holding it together.

Jace raises a hand to cup his cheek. He tries to get Alec to meet his troubled gaze, his blonde brows furrowed over his eyes, but Alec closes his own. They're quickly overflowing with tears and he can't—he _can't_ —break down right now. Alec grits his teeth together, choking back the sob that is coiled inside his throat. He is terrified of the very real possibility that once he starts crying he won't be able to pull himself back together. The place inside his soul where Jace rests is still wounded, bleeding helplessly.

"Parabatai," Jace whispers. He can hear the thickness in Jace's voice, holding back his own tears. "I'm _here_ , Alec. I'm right here."

Alec shakes his head, blinking furiously until his vision is clear. "I can't do this. I can't talk about this, Jace. Not now."

Jace studies him quietly, his wide, mismatched eyes running all over Alec's face. At last, he nods. "Okay. We won't talk then."

Alec pulls him back in by his hips. His mouth devours Jace's, chasing the oblivion and delicious, red haze they were wrapped up in before. Alec doesn't want to reflect on what happened that day, to remember an agony he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy. He wants to forget, but more than that, he wants to _bury_ himself in Jace. As his hands slip under Jace's shirt and glide across warm, bare skin, Alec can breathe again, knowing Jace is there under his touch. He can smell him, the familiar scent of leather and fresh shampoo and _Jace_ tinged in the air. Alec can _taste_ him, their tongues catching with each heady, deep kiss.

Jace's fingers tug through his hair, tightening their grip as Alec drags his mouth down the column of Jace's neck. Alec seals his lips over the beating vein in his throat, sucking hard enough to leave a bruise behind. He thinks he hears the mutter of _savage_ above him before Jace starts moaning. The hickey will disappear once Jace applies an _iratze_ , getting rid of any incriminating evidence of what happens between them tonight, but Alec takes a fleeting pleasure in seeing it there: the bright red mark, the indent of his teeth.

 _Mine_ , Alec thinks at the sight. He is going to leave more, bite marks on Jace's chest and bruises on his hips and faint hickeys on the sensitive skin of Jace's thighs before his parabatai shoves him away. This is the only way Alec can claim Jace as his.

Next Alec reaches for Jace's shirt to peel off, but Jace stops him. "Oh, am I going to have to be the responsible one tonight?"

Alec nips underneath Jace's ear, relishing in the way his parabatai's whole body melts against him when he teases his earlobe with his teeth. "What are you talking about? Take this off."

"Alec." Jace lays a hand on his chest, making only a half-hearted attempt at best to push him away. " _Everyone_ we know is inside right now. We can't do this here." Even as the words fall from his mouth, Jace is pulling his head down harder, encouraging Alec bite down into his flesh.

"I. Don't. Care." Alec hisses.

Because right then he doesn't. He has enough sense to place a lock rune on the door behind them, but beyond that Alec doesn't have a damn to give about the rest of their world. What rule wouldn't he break for the man in his arms? They're already breaking the Law as it is and after everything they have endured—everything they have _sacrificed_ in their lives for the Clave, he and Jace have earned one night for themselves. One night where Alec refuses to let the consequences of their dangerous, ill-fated actions keep him from what he wants.

He removes Jace's shirt and his parabatai doesn't protest this time. It's a wonder Jace was doing so at all, needless to say he is always the more reckless of the two of them. Perhaps he can sense how Alec has shred his worries and reservations for the night, leaving them back at the Institute far from where they are now. This isn't at all how the Head of the Institute should behave: abandoning his people wherever they are to have illegal sex in a back alley with his secret lover.

The idea is so absurd for Alec he almost laughs out loud at it. Only Jace could ever bring out such a rebellious and animalistic side of him.

After Alec has had his fill of kissing and biting up and down Jace's chest, he allows Jace to remove his clothes as well. His shirt joins the pile on top of Jace's leather jacket on a nearby crate. Jace skims his hands down Alec's bare chest once it's exposed, only pausing at his waist where their parabatai rune is drawn.

The Mark is glowing as gold as Jace's eyes with his angelic power, a perfect match to Jace's own parabatai rune illuminated in gold. Jace grimaces at the rune, a pucker of worry appearing on his forehead. It startled them both the first time it happened, such a outward sign to their declarations of love and subsequent lovemaking.

Alec fretted over it constantly since then, terrified of the moment their parabatai runes would glow in public, visible under their clothes and expose them as criminals to the Clave. Much to their amusement, the runes only seemed to ignite, so far, while they were in the middle of— _forbidden_ —physical activities.

Alec gently pushes Jace back into the wall to kiss him, distracting him from the worry for another day. As their lips hungrily slide together, Alec purposefully grinds forward, rubbing into the outline of Jace's swollen cock through his jeans. Jace moans loudly, his hips jerking up to meet in a delicious friction of their erections rutting together. The arousal makes Alec ache and the fact he can feel every pulse of Jace's desire through their bond, their hearts beating in the same furious pattern, only muddles his thoughts even worse.

Jace sucks on his tongue and Alec's cock gives one final, frustrated twitch. With a groan, Alec reaches down to unbutton his jeans and begins to push them down Jace's legs—not without difficulty.

"Why do you wear such tight pants?" Alec huffs in an effort to lighten the moment.

Jace snorts, batting his hands away. "You'd miss how amazing my ass looks if I didn't."

Alec rolls his eyes as Jace takes it upon himself to wiggle out of his jeans. His teasing quickly dries up once Alec realizes Jace isn't wearing any underwear, because of fucking course he isn't. The desire that had simmered down earlier kindles again to the front of Alec's mind, flushing his skin as his eyes lap up Jace's naked body. He feels no shame for the way his eyes linger over every imperfect line of his parabatai's scarred, muscular golden skin. He is beautiful, breathtaking, and it's in rare moments like these that Alec can admire him as his.

Looking isn't enough for very long. Alec stripes out of the rest of his clothes as quickly as possible, every nerve in his body flared and aching to take Jace up against that wall. He needs to be inside Jace just as much as he needs to not let his parabatai out of his sight. They come together again, Jace's legs parting open to place Alec in between them, his hands running slowly up Alec's back while one hand wraps familiarly over the back of his neck. Alec can feel the cold metal of the Herondale ring nestled against him. He gazes down into Jace's bright eyes, nothing but naked want and affection mirrored in their lingering stare.

It is with the certainty of routine that Alec uses his stele to prepare him. They've done this quite a few times now, but Alec still marvels at the way Jace's soft thighs feel hooked around his waist, the open trust in which Jace tips his head back and closes his eyes, the way Alec just _knows_ without a word from him when it's okay.

And Jace still whines, low in his throat. "Alec. Now, _please_!"

A smirk settles on Alec's lips. In the next second he thrusts forward, sinking into Jace's body in one fluid, practiced motion. His breath catches while Jace moans, their separate pleasure colliding into a flare through the bond. The feeling of slick, perfect warmth wrapped around him is nearly overwhelming. With his hands braced on the brick wall, Alec takes a moment to come back to himself—to find which sensations belong to him and which belong to Jace. The acts of intimacy, they have found, only seem to further entangle their emotions and their essence into one soul.

Alec starts moving, his hips plunging harder and harder with every encouraging squeeze of Jace's legs around his waist. Pleasure simmers in hot embers at the pit of his stomach, a steadily climbing fire. His parabatai's head tips back against the wall, watching Alec through hazy, half-lidded eyes. His kiss-bitten lips hang open and gasp with loud, shameless moans. Jace has never been one to hold back. Still, a possessive thrill runs down Alec's spine at every cry and delicious sound that spills out of Jace because of _him_. Half-delirious, Alec hopes that every person inside the buildings around them can hear Jace shouting his name and his alone.

His parabatai looks unbearably enticing right then. His hair a blonde, messy tangle falling carelessly across his forehead. His neck arched, displaying the red marks left scattered by Alec across his skin. His body slippery with sweat, sticking onto Alec's chest as they writhe, flushed together. It's maddening to Alec, how he can _want_ him so much while having him. The blood in his veins roars like heated lightning, every inch of him electric and feverish and intoxicated with their sex, with Jace. Alec is just as vocal as he is, unable to control himself as he chants Jace's name and how good this feels into the miniscule space between their breaths.

" _Fuck_ ," Jace shapes the word against Alec's mouth. Alec's frantic thrusts shove him against the wall with each jolting movement. His entire backside is going to be bruised, but Jace only digs his fingernails into his neck and arches against him to get closer. "Fuck, Alec, don't stop!"

They both need this, after crossing over the unfathomable line of losing each other. No matter how short it lasted, it was an eternity worth of agony fit into minutes. Alec can’t think about it then. Can’t stand to remember the pain, the _void_ inside him where every golden strand of Jace’s soul was ripped away.

His vision tinges black with horror at the memory, defenseless to the way its claws are hooked deep within. _His parabatai dying_. The sudden ache of loneliness after it happened had been so sharp inside him Alec was sure it would be only seconds before he was dead, too. He couldn't survive without Jace and he didn't _want_ to.

It’s only Jace’s familiar hand squeezing his neck that brings him back, anchors him to the present. His soulmate is returned, alive, _breathing_.

Their lovemaking is desperate, almost overshadowed by despair. Alec fucks him like it is the last time—because he didn’t have the slightest idea that their last time was their _last time_.

Jace yanks him in, a painful grip on his scalp. Alec reciprocates as their mouths fuse together in a rough, hungry kiss. He bites down on Jace's bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood, his tongue plundering in and catching with Jace's. The low burning fire inside him is scorching into an inferno, ready to erupt down his veins in climax. Alec can tell by the way Jace is tensing up in his arms, his heels digging into his ass that he is on the verge of coming too.

They're straddling the knife's edge between pleasure and pain together. Alec feels Jace's sorrow, his guilt at abandoning him, his reluctant grief for Valentine's death, his anger at himself for what he sees as a failure in dying—all knotted together, inseparable from the joy and love also lighting up the bond, directed towards Alec. He understands, because Alec is furious and terrified and grateful beyond words, while also being so in love with Jace he knows this love will follow even after they are both dead and gone.

Jace breaks apart from him, gasping as he shakes, thighs clenching, and comes with his head thrown back. He is the most stunning thing Alec has ever seen. Alec is almost blinded by it, the way his parabatai glows before his eyes, like staring at the explosion of a supernova. Jace's orgasm, combined with the rhythmic pulses around Alec's cock, is enough, more than enough, to send him breathless into own orgasm. Euphoria swells over him in a powerful tide and Alec stutters over Jace's name.

When they come back to themselves, Jace unwinds his legs from around Alec's waist and shakily drops to his feet.

Alec all but collapses on top of him, his legs burning from holding Jace up, but Jace's hands are there on his shoulders, steadying him. Their eyes meet in the sudden silence of the alley, their panting breaths ringing in the warm night air.

Jace tenderly cups his face, his kiss a soft brush on Alec's lips. "I love you, Alec," he murmurs, even as his mind echoes _I'm sorry_.

Alec's fingers wrap around his wrists, as if he can keep Jace there in front of him forever. "Don't ever do that to me again, parabatai."

Jace's wide, multicolored eyes glint at him with what they both know is the truth. The war may be over, but neither of them can promise to live as long as the other. He only says, " _Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried_."

Alec believes in, if nothing else, their sacred vows to each other. "I love you too, Jace."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Title is taken from "Find You" by Ruelle. 
> 
> Join me in sin on [tumblr](http://bisexual-jace.tumblr.com/) <3


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